This article has nothing to do with donkeys. Sort of.

When I was a child, I’d sometimes say to my mom that I was bored. Since I was born in Peru, my first language is Spanish. I’m bored translates into Estoy aburrida. Donkey is burro in Spanish. Mom’s reply was always: ¡no se aburra! which means don’t be bored, but it can also mean don’t be a donkey! (¡no sea burra!).

My sweet mother passed away at the young age of 70, now 10 years ago. But her wisdom, her great sense of humor, and her remarkable ability to always busy herself with something productive, is alive in every bit of my being.

Boredom is not something I’ve experienced since I was a child. With her witty sense of humor, kind smile, and willingness to “model” productive ways to spend time, my mother taught me one of the most important skills in life: resourcefulness.

If she wanted a different light fixture, mom learned how to change it herself. New flooring, wallpaper, no problem. She read, asked questions and dove in. She wanted to change the look of her living room set, she learned to make slip covers and later on to reupholster.

Mom loved tools. She was a true artisan. When she was heavy into sewing, she bought an industrial sewing machine made in Korea that came with a manual in Korean! She learned to tune up her machine by figuring out the illustrations in the manual.

She was a working mom who ran a household on her own as my dad passed away when I was 10 years old. She never remarried because she said she had 3 kids, and she didn’t want to introduce a man into the family fold. She would always try to minimize it by saying things like “better to be alone than in bad company.” She stuck to this creed until the end. But maybe she was just toughing it out for her own sake and ours. I’m sure she would have wanted to have someone by her side, but for whatever reason, she didn’t. I know she was lonely and sad at times. You could see it on her face. But she persevered. And, I learned from her that women can and should be self-sufficient, and their children should always come first.

My sister often says that it’s too bad mom can’t be with us now. Every milestone, graduation, birth, and mostly all the daily things that we would have enjoyed together, can never be because she’s gone. My kids never got to spend time with her like my older nephews and niece.

I own a beautiful antique store now that she would have loved to spend time in. After all, I learned from her how to love and give new life to old things. Long before flea market hunting and dumpster diving were hip, she was doing it out of necessity.

I guess the thing about boredom is that it comes from an innocent place. When we are young, we haven’t yet learned to worry and stress out. We lean on our parents to entertain us. Mom was creative in this regard because she didn’t have the time nor the means to entertain us. Instead, she would show excitement over a meal, telling me what she bought at the market and what she was going to cook (I loved to eat, as you can tell!). She would encourage all my crafty hobbies. Little trips to the local Woolworth’s were fun. A few crochet hooks and some yarn and I had something to busy myself with. One day she brought home an electric typewriter. And the rest is history.

As a single mom, I know she must have had stresses and burdens. Doing things that kept her busy were her salvation. Boredom was not part her repertoire. To just sit around and not try to make your life better was shameful to her. So she encouraged us always to learn, move on, forgive, persevere. And as a kid, I knew she wasn’t calling me a donkey. I knew she loved me, and was making me laugh. Mom always made me laugh. I miss her more than I can say, but I keep going because that’s what she taught me. Life has so much to offer. To sit around and not try to live it, would just make me feel…like an ass!

(Photo from left: mom, sister and me as a baby)